The following is the list we came up with. I hope it will allay some of the pressure when you lose a loved one of your own. It's difficult enough to lose someone you love, let alone continue to take care of all the things for the living. I've included contacts for businesses in the Santa Clara County, but you can change that if you're dealing with another area.
Be sure to delegate when you can. Anyone can make calls for you, arrange a service, or run errands to pick up death certificates or information. Don't feel you need to do this all by yourself. God gave each person special gifts. Allow your friends and family members to use their gifts to help out. It will make everyone feel they've done something useful if you let them help.
1. Determine what will be done with the body.
a. Willed
Body Program – San Francisco will pick up your loved one.
Willed Body
Program
University of CA, San Francisco
Dept. of Anatomy AC-14
San Francisco, CA 94143-0902
1-415-476-1981 (M-F, 8am to 5pm)
1-415-476-9000 (weekends and holidays)
b. Cremation
– Call the funeral parlor of your choice (Lima is the highest rated in this area).
Lima Family Santa Clara Mortuary
(Any
time of the day or night)
466
So. Winchester Blvd.
Santa
Clara, CA
408-296-2977
c. Funeral
– See “b” above.
i. Have in mind whether you will have a
graveside service, Memorial Service, wake, funeral with open casket, etc.
2. Start
the process for the death certificates.
a. Make
sure the decedent’s doctor (or county coroner) has signed off on the death certificate. If not, encourage him or
her to fill it out quickly.
b. It
will be necessary to get several extra copies of the death certificate (other
than the one that will automatically be prepared for the County Recorder) in
order to meet certain obligations. There will be a charge for these (see below).
c. Once
the death certificate is ready, the State Curator will call and let you know.
If they don’t call you within a week, contact them to find out if they've received the paperwork. Try and hurry them along. You will probably need between 8 and 10 Death Certificates.
They must be picked up at the Santa Clara
Vital Records Office. (As of February 2014 they are $16 each).
Vital Records
Office
976 Lenzen Avenue, Suite 1300
San Jose, CA 95126
408-885-2010
d. You
should send original death certificates to each of the following (along with
written notification). Be sure and send certificates for Life Insurance and/or
Social Security office Certified so you get back a receipt. Always create a
paper trail.
- Social Security Office (include ss# of deceased).
Social Security Office
Room 244, 2nd Floor
280 S. First Street
San Jose, CA 95113
1-800-772-1213
- The Deceased’s Bank (See #9 below)
- Company Pension Office
- Financial Manager
- Mortgage Office
- All Life Insurance companies
- Medicare office
- Car or other loan carrier
3. Notify the apartment complex or retirement home if applicable.
4. Notify
all friends and family (making a list is helpful).
5. Notify
the Executor of the will.
6. Notify
all doctors and medical professionals of the deceased, and cancel all pending
doctor appointments.
7. Notify car, medical and rental insurance companies.
7. Notify car, medical and rental insurance companies.
8. Notify
medical suppliers to pick up oxygen, wheelchairs, etc. that are on loan or
rent.
9. Notify
the decedent’s church.
10. Notify credit cards and other accounts such as utility company, bank cards, etc.
Note: if you are a signer on the bank account, wait to discontinue the debit card and/or account as bills will continue to come in up to one year after your loved one's passing. You may also want to keep garbage and phone connected until you are able to clean out the residence of the deceased.
10. Notify credit cards and other accounts such as utility company, bank cards, etc.
Note: if you are a signer on the bank account, wait to discontinue the debit card and/or account as bills will continue to come in up to one year after your loved one's passing. You may also want to keep garbage and phone connected until you are able to clean out the residence of the deceased.
11. Determine whether the deceased would have wanted a funeral or Memorial Service.
a. Contact the church or funeral
parlor you want to use and reserve a date
i. When choosing a date, keep in mind those coming from out of town
or working.
ii. Enlist help from friends and family members, especially if you are going to do
a photo montage, program, etc.
12. Determine who is a signer on the
account. Have the additional signer clean out the safety deposit box and send
it to the Executor. In addition, be sure the Executor has access to all
financial records and other monies.
13. Write an obituary,
a. The easiest way is to go online
to www.bayareaobits.com.
i. This will be printed in all local papers
ii. They will walk you through the process
iii. You will be able to see the cost before you decide
Note: This
is not inexpensive! It can range from $600 to $3000
I should
emphasize the importance of following up on all calls you make. Keep track of
when you called, with whom you talked, and dates and times. If you don’t hear
back, follow up in a couple of weeks. It sometimes takes several months for any
automatic payments to stop, so be prepared to ask for money back if it’s been
taken out after the loved one’s death. In reverse, there may be automatic
deposits that continue to get put into the deceased accounts. Be prepared to pay those back.
Don't rush into cleaning out the residence of your loved one, unless for you this is therapy. Gauge yourself and how you're feeling. No need to hurry into anything. Don’t forget to take time to grieve. Take time for yourself to relax and go out with friends to get your mind off all of the “to-do’s”.
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