I Feel Like I've Been Dive-bombed!

Have you ever observed a mother eagle as she teaches her eaglets how to fly?  Why does she teach them to fly? She teaches them so they won’t end up as a meal for a predator. So they will be able to be strong and fend for themselves. So they will learn to trust her.

She pushes one little eaglet to the edge of the nest and soars under the nest, then back up over the eaglet, letting out an enormous shriek to let him know it’s time. Then she swoops down and dive-bombs the eaglet out of the nest. As her little baby falls, he finds his wings.  One by one she does this to each of her babies. 

Sometimes, after a dive-bombing, the eaglet cannot find its wings! So the mother eagle simply spreads her wide wings, moves under the bird and catches it on her enormous feathers. Then, ever so gently she places the eaglet back on the edge of the nest, soars up and dive-bombs it again.

Do you ever feel like God is dive-bombing you? Over and over again?  He doesn’t do this to make you unhappy, to tease you, or cause you pain. He does it because He knows it will make you stronger.You may not think so at the moment--you just want to be safe inside the nest--but trusting in Him will make you stronger. Some day you will find your wings and be the person He wants and longs for you to be. 

Don’t let caregiving get the best of you. Find your wings! God is spreading out His enormous wings underneath you so when you fall (and you most surely will), He will be able to carry you back to the nest until He's ready to dive-bomb you again. He has only good in mind for you. He wants you to gain strength and trust His presence in your life. In the end, you will be so glad you were able to be there for your loved one. You will have precious memories that will always be with you; memories of sweetness, not bitterness.

Let the dive-bombing begin!

Fact vs Fiction: the Truth About Nursing Homes

Just found this wonderful website that will answer a lot of your questions about caregiving and provides great resources as well. Remember, just because you're a caregiver doesn't mean you can't also use help from places like Nursing Homes and Assisted Living Residences. Here is a little sampling...

Copied from www.CareConversations.org 6/26/2014

March 24, 2014

Let’s face the facts: There are a lot of people who don’t have an accurate understanding of skilled nursing care centers (which many call nursing homes). These misunderstandings can lead to harmful myths that may prevent families from seeking the help they need.

When considering care options, it’s important to separate fact from fiction. To start, let’s bust three of the most common myths about skilled nursing care centers: 

1. Myth: Nursing and post-acute care centers are like hospitals. Fact: While care centers do offer in-depth medical care, they are very different from hospitals. Care centers often feel more like homes or apartments. And, in addition to medical care, many centers offer social activities and recreation programs.
2. Myth: Care center patients never leave. Fact: On average, one in every four patients stays less than three months at a care center. Some stay only for a month to recover from an injury or illness.
3. Myth: Care centers are unreasonably expensive. Fact: The daily cost of a care center can be a fraction of the cost of a day in the hospital. Overall, care centers are one of the most affordable options for 24-hour, professional nursing and rehabilitative care.

To discover more facts about care centers, check out the Fact vs. Myth page on CareConversations.org.

Mornings with Jamey

I recently had to cut my hours to be home with Jamey in the mornings. He has the most difficulty before 2 P.M. It's a little scary to step out in faith about our finances. But, I do believe God will take care of all our needs, even if I'm a little apprehensive!

I have enjoyed our mornings together. It's a nice quiet time and he is usually able to converse a little in the A.M. While I don't really like to cook (If I could "sew" a meal, I'd do much better), I have been faithful to making him a good hot breakfast. He appreciates it (I think) and I feel better about starting his day out with something nourishing. I can usually get myself ready for work and get the kitchen cleaned up before I leave, so that makes me feel better about the day (for some reason I cannot compartmentalize a clean house from my emotional status.So having the dishes done makes me feel better all day long. Weird, huh?).

Today I made him an egg, bacon and cheese burrito with a little salsa (he hates tomatoes but he will tolerate mild salsa. I would love some suggestions for quick, easy, and nutritious breakfasts. LOL Guess that's a pretty tall order! Well, I'll take 1 of the 2 if you can't give me all 3! Feel free to suggest things. My biggest challenge where that's concerned is that he won't eat vegetables. Try as I might, I haven't been successful getting the green things down his throat. I resorted to buying Fusion Juice by V-8. It has a helping of vegetables in each serving but it tastes like fruit. That, he'll drink. Sometimes I hide veggies in stuff but he always finds them. What's a caregiver to do?!

I've added new pages off to the right side of the blog above HOME. You can click on the links and they take you to the title of your choice. This allows me to be a little more intimate with you but also give you the practical info you need to do your job more effectively.

Talk to you soon!

Tips for the Caregiver

t Don’t enable. Do help or assist

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned while caregiving, is that there’s a fine line between assisting and enabling. Knowing what your Loved One CAN or CANNOT do, is very important, so speaking with them about what their limitations are, is crucial.

t Know what to expect of your future

If you know what is coming (to a certain extent) you’re able to deal logically with it when it rears its ugly head. It will also allow you to construct a time-line of sorts that may assist you in your caregiving walk.

t Develop a tough skin

 I know many of you will come up against frustration that exhibits itself as anger. While some Loved Ones might expect you to do everything for them, it’s more likely they will be offended if you do something for them they feel they can still do. Your Loved One might lash out. While they may not be trying to hurt your feelings, you’re the one who is the most convenient, so you’re the one who will get the fury. Try not to be offended easily! It can be very discouraging, but hang in there. You are doing them a great service even if they don’t realize it.

t Try to Put Yourself in Your Loved One's place
Can you imagine having your independence stripped away? Can you visualize having to give up your favorite hobbies, your precious past-times or your ability to enjoy your family. These are some of the things your Loved One may be experiencing. If you can put yourself in their shoes for just a moment, you might realize the huge loss they're feeling. In fact, they are grieving...grieving for the loss of something new, almost every day.That's a very big deal!

t Assume the role of a parent

A lot of times, you must assume the role of a parent with your Loved One. It is difficult for your Loved Ones to step back and let you lead, but it is best for them. You will have to make the hard decisions for them, but whether or not they appreciate it in the long run, you will know you had their best in mind. You will have to be firm but loving and that is sometimes very hard to do. But, remember how your parent(s) were when you were growing up. In order to keep you safe, they had to make tough choices that you didn’t necessarily like. But, because they made those choices, you were safe and lived to adulthood. Now you must make choices for your Loved One—choices he or she may not like.

t Plan Ahead

If you have the luxury of getting paperwork done ahead of time (i.e., Power of Attorney, signer on bank accounts, etc.) do so as quickly as possible. It will be very helpful to have all of that done so when the time comes to step into that role, you won’t have to rush and try to take care of it while your Loved One is failing.

t Seek Advice/Help

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, whether physical or emotional. Professional help can be a huge comfort while dealing with this new position. When someone asks what they can do, give them something…don’t wait for them to change their minds. Keep a list in your pocket or purse so when a friend asks how they can help, you can pull out the list and give them a choice of what they’d like to do.