Looking for An Assisted Living Place?

Pacific Gardens, Santa Clara

The time may come when you need to seek out Assisted Living apartments for your loved one. It is an exhaustive search, but it can also be very rewarding. While my parents weren't in their apartment for more than a couple of years, the times there were some of their richest and most rewarding.

I started my search with a form I created, listing all the questions I wanted to have answered (See Caregiver Info at right). Then, I did an online search to get all available local facilities. Since my time was limited while still working, I made appointments at the most promising places on weekends. I tried not to schedule more than two appointments a week so I wouldn't get burnt out or mix up the places.

I did not take my parents with me to the appointments as they tired easily and there was no reason for them to be at the initial meetings. I arrived for the appointments on time and filled out as much of my form as I could while in the waiting area. I took a photo of the outside of the building.

As I got tours of the places, I wrote down my observations and filled out the rest of the form by asking questions of the host. At home I printed off the photo and stapled it to the form to prompt my memory when narrowing down the selections.

Then, I made lunch appointments for the most promising places, to include my parents (and other siblings). That way we could taste the food and interact with the other residents. Meal times bring out the best, and worst, in residents at the facilities, so it's a good time to observe. I was careful not to schedule more than two lunch dates in a week, so as not to overwhelm my parents.

I made notations on the form after eating at each place as well. When my parents and I got back together, we discussed each place and noted its pros and cons. The notes and observations (as well as the photo) helped jog memories for my parents. It made the task of deciding much easier.

Westmont, Santa Clara

One we decided which was the best fit for them, I called and started the ball in motion. We were fortunate that there were a couple of apartments available, which isn't always the case. Don't be surprised if you need to be put on a waiting list; a good reason to start this process sooner than you think you need to.

Once they were moved, it took several months for my parents to get adjusted (particularly my mother).But once she started getting plugged into the activities, she warmed up to the other residents and enjoyed her time there.

For my mom, it was more important the place be small and intimate. Others might find a larger, "chain" facility more appealing. Whatever is needed, you've got to start with a few simple questions. That will help you narrow down the choices and hopefully, help you find a place that will become home for your loved ones for a very long time.