Will ASL Help?

It seems like each day we wake up, there is a new struggle! I suppose that's the case with any disease; grieving for new losses, navigating new challenges, creating new normals.

Jamey's speech has gotten difficult for me to understand. I have to strain to grasp what he is trying to communicate through the slurring words and low volume. I'd been thinking it is just me. After all, my hearing isn't what it used to be and I'm not at sharp as I once was (hard to believe, I know).  But, when we hosted a family game night recently, Jamey's sister and mother both took me aside and mentioned they were having difficulty as well. Actually, there was no need to tell me; I could see the blank looks on their faces when he was trying to tell them a story--and the glances in my direction, the look of "help!" on their puzzled faces.

It hurts me to see this happen. He wants to be part of the conversation so badly and he has so much to contribute. But, he just can't keep up with everyone talking so quickly and not allowing him any time to get in what he wants to say. The Human Race is an appropriate name for us because we are always in such a hurry. We rarely make time for the people around us who would like to participate but need more time and patience--or even just an opening in the conversation!

As his wife, and caregiver, I can do my best to pause people when I see Jamey wants to contribute, and encourage people to listen because I know what he has to say is important. But, understanding what he has to say is a different matter. If I can't understand him myself, how can I interpret for others? As I get older and lose more of my hearing and cognition, the challenge gets more difficult!

So, Jamey and I have decided to try learning American Sign Language. I know that learning a new language at our age will be tough, but we already know a few signs and we are willing to give it a try. So far he has been able to use his hands fairly well. Time will tell. For me, talking with my hands is something I've done since birth--I'm a woman, after all--it's just hard trying to do it without my mouth flapping, too! Actually, the books say you should also 'say' the words you're signing, so that makes it easier for me.😊 We haven't been able to find a class in our area, but we are starting with the book, ASL For Dummies. The key, I think, will be to start talking to one another often, with ASL, so the language becomes second nature to us.

I'm hoping this will help us communicate better and more often. After 40 years of marriage, the communication should be better, right? 😏 Granted, we do have an advantage being together that long. We can already finish each other's sandwiches...uh, I mean...sentences.

So, I'll keep you posted as we progress. In the meantime, if you visit, please give Jamey an opportunity to join in your conversation. And, don't rush him along. He will feel so much more a part of your visit if you just be patient and bring him into the dialog, too.