Respite Workers

I've emphasized multiple times how important it is for caregivers to get a break from their duties. You're always more effective when you are rested. And let's face it, your loved one could probably use a break from you as much as you need one from them!

So, once you've decided to get away, how can you know your loved one is getting the care they need while you're gone? One of my fellow caregivers has a fantastic idea that I'm passing on to you!

Start with two things: a binder (1" or so should do it), and a journal of some sort (maybe an essay book like the college kids use for testing). For the journal, whatever you like to write in works, however I would encourage you to get something with lines pre-printed. If you're a bit OCD like me, you'll want to get a binder and journal that match. Or, perhaps your loved one will want to help you decorate the journal; those with dementia usually like doing projects!

In the binder, put everything the respite worker will need, to tend to your loved one. For instance, I have an Emergency Information Sheet and Liability Waiver (see Caregiver Info at right), a layout of the daily routine, In-depth medication list with side effects and expectations, directions for Heimlich Maneuver and  CPR, Bedtime routine, loved one's likes and dislikes, what agitates or soothes your loved one, bathing and toileting helps and schedules, etc. You can put dividers in to make things easier to access, but it isn't necessary unless you've got a great deal of information.

A fold-back binder

The nice thing about the binder is the caregiver can add things as new issues come up, or take away things when changes occur. That will insure instruction is always up-to-date for the respite worker. And if you get one of those cool binders where the bottom folds back it can stand up on the counter so the respite worker can get a good look while working.

A good-sized journal, easy too write in

The journal is for the respite worker to write anything that goes on during the day. For instance, if the loved one had to be on oxygen for 1/2 an hour during the day that should be recorded in the journal, noting time, date and duration. If the caregiver starts keeping this journal now it will be easier for the respite worker to see what the routine has been and whether or not the loved one has veered off the routine. When the caregiver returns from the break (whether it's a couple hours or a couple of days) they will know exactly what took place in their absence.

This system is a winner from all viewpoints! The loved one can be assured they will get consistent care, the respite worker will know exactly what is expected, and the caregiver will be able to rest completely while they're away!

My binder is packed full and I'm always adding and subtraction medication information and routine info. It's very helpful when it's complete!

Durable Power of Attorney

Durable Power of Attorney or POA, should not be confused with Medical Power of Attorney or Medical Directive Attorney. A POA is a written authorization to represent or act on another's behalf in private affairs, business, or some other legal matter, sometimes against the wishes of the other. In this case, the caregiver is the “other” or POA, and the loved one is the one who will authorize the caregiver.

The best time for your loved one to authorize their POA is before they need it. While your loved one is still lucid and able to make the decision to elect you as POA, it is the time to do the paperwork!

If your loved one has a lawyer (preferably the one that did their Trust or Will), contact them to set up an appointment for drafting a POA. Each lawyer or attorney will have their own fees associated with this procedure, but it is worth it. If you or your loved one haven’t had a Will drafted, or your estate is not yet in a Trust, please consider it. Estates will be tied up in probate for a minimum of 2 years in California, and often even longer. Not only that, but the state will make arbitrary decisions regarding your loved one’s money if direction isn’t already provided in a Trust.

If your loved one doesn’t have a private attorney or you’re only interested in having a POA drafted, the easiest way I’ve found to provide one is through www.LegalZoom.com. Now, there is one little yellow flag with this online assistance. Depending on how the Trust is worded, or the Will stated, some banks might take issue with the LegalZoom document. Always check with your bank’s legal department before you order the papers from LegalZoom. Chase Bank, in particular, tends to err on the side of caution when it comes to POAs (which of course is a good thing for your loved one, but a bit inconvenient for you). If your bank requires a statement on letterhead from the attorney who drafted the POA document, LegalZoom will not provide it, as they are not an attorney’s office. However, their documents are trustworthy, accurate, and legal. The wording of the Trust will make the difference in whether whether or not your loved on'es bank accepts the POA as drafted. By checking ahead of time, you’ll know what is needed up front and save yourself a lot of time and energy.

LegalZoom documents can be ordered online quickly and inexpensively. Once they arrive all you need to do is have a Notary witness yours and your loved one’s signatures. If your loved one cannot write, fear not! All that is needed is a mark. Once the Notary signs off, you can make copies of the document and send them to all banks, creditors, and financial institutions so your loved one no longer has to be present to communicate with these places.

Even with a POA in place, you will always want to check with your loved about their wishes in their business or private affairs. You are their advocate and should always be sure you are carrying out their desires the way they would want. Stay in communication with them as well, letting them know what is going on and what decisions you’ve made on their behalf.

The Hieimlich Maneuver